56. Future

Blegh, I lost track of time on Friday (blame Helldivers 2) and was halfway through my routine on Saturday when I realized I hadn’t posted. Whoops!

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TN: Toasty
ED: Toasty

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It’s the season when the cold weather is bearable and we can appreciate the flames of the fireplace. The sun was setting earlier, so a quiet darkness spread outside the window, and the light from the lamps and fireplaces flickering from the other houses turned the night into a slightly warm landscape.
In my previous life in Japan, it would have been bright everywhere, filled with colorful illuminations of red and blue. Then I remembered it.

「Well, do you know what red is blue and blue is red?」

I asked the question that came to mind as I looked at the green and yellow odd-eyed white stuffed bear.
This bear is a mobile phone used to contact a specific person. It has a magic stone with a magic circle built into it and the reason it looks like a bear is the tastes of the person on the other end.

「Ha? What is it, all of a sudden?’」

「I remembered about the other day. I think I heard it from Yuuka in my previous life…」

I check with Elena, the princess who remembers being my younger sister in a previous life. Elena made a puzzled sound, but I guess she was thinking about it, as after a few seconds, a vigorous voice answered my question from the bear-phone.

「Isaac, by any chance did you meet Remias-kun and Bell-kun!?」

「I can understand you well enough.」

「Because that’s the comparison I used when we were talking about Remias-kun and Bell-kun.」

Elena says that she explained it in a way that would make sense to Taichi from her previous life, as he would understand if it was a Sentai story.
I grasp that Elena knows about the blue-haired Remias and the red-haired Belle. The two seem to be potential servants of Elena’s older brother Leo, so it’s only natural that they meet face to face. However, it’s strange to know them not from her time now as princess, but rather her previous life.
The people in this world that Elena knows from her previous life are limited. I thought, [No way] and my cheeks froze.

「Remias and Bell…」

「Yes, they’re Kimisei’s capture targets!」

I could easily imagine the self-satisfied expression on Elena’s face on the other end of the phone. It’s been a while since I heard Kimisei’s name. It is an abbreviation of an otome game that is the same as or similar to this world.
Elena seemed to want me to mention it, but it wasn’t a topic I was interested in, so I just replied, [Ah, is that so]. Then, her dissatisfied voice comes out from the bear-phone.

「You should be a little surprised or more interested, you know.」

「It’s because I don’t even remember what the two of us said during the game.」

「See, fighting games and quizzes were some of the mini-games.」

「Well, you were the one who did both of those.」

「That’s right! 」

I don’t understand what kind of mini-games I might have helped with. In my previous life, I only helped my sister with mini-games that she wasn’t good at and couldn’t complete.
My younger sister, Yuuka, had cleared music games, fighting games, quizzes, etc. by herself. In fighting games, it seems like I just ignored commands and pressed the buttons with all my might. When I played against her in a normal fighting game, it was difficult to fight her because her attack patterns were hard to read.
When Elena remembered that it was my turn, she seemed shocked. Losing the topic of conversation, she groaned in frustration.

「Even if you don’t tie into Kimisei, we both know each other, so we can talk normally, can’t we?’」

「Yes, but… I also want to talk about Kimisei.」

I don’t understand Elena’s urge to talk about what she likes even to people she’s not interested in, like the fact that she tried to talk to me about it in her previous life by comparing it to Sentai stuff.
When I got into boys’ comics and games, I would talk about them with other people who liked them, and it was fun. However, I’ve never thought to start talking to people who don’t seem to be interested in the genre. It’s more fun to talk about common topics than to force the other person to talk.
If I remember correctly, in my previous life, I often said that I was a missionary. I didn’t understand everything, but I did come to like some of the music and manga. Now that I think about it, it may have been a good opportunity for me to learn about a genre that I would never touch.

「Right now, I’m in Kimisei’s world, and I really like it.」

I remember her boasting that she was a support character. Even though I know it’s reality, it’s strange to see the fan spirit that leaks through from time to time. In particular, when she went from having Roy-sama as a favorite to actually becoming a family member and then becoming a true older brother idiot, she started talking even more passionately, and I feel like my ears gave out.

「And this is different! I like Kimisei as a performance game.’」

「Performance?」

That’s why I, who knows just a little bit about Kimisei as a game, want to listen. Judging from the strong tone of her voice, she might be clenching her fists. It was funny how I could easily imagine that situation, so I just listened and allowed her to continue talking about Kimisei.

「Remias is a typical sportsman character, and is popular for his straightforwardness and dedication to chivalry. He’s training day and night to surpass his father, the knight commander, so you’ll encounter him behind the basic school building. He wasn’t used to treating women and was rough with them. Well, since the heroine is a commoner, she’s not afraid to point that out. From there, the way he interacts with women changes little by little, and he starts to think of the heroine as someone of the opposite sex…」

Elena started talking happily, but since I wasn’t really interested,  I acted like radio was coming from the bear. Even if she gives a passionate speech that half-naked still pictures are not risque because he’s an athlete, I, as a man, can’t understand it.
Before I knew what to say, I found she was talking about Bell.

「Bell-kun is even easier to encounter, he’s in the basic library. The heroine, who doesn’t have much knowledge about magic, takes an interest in magic, so he tries his best to teach her how to study. He’s cute because he’s a bit of a research geek, and when he gets top marks on a test, he’s so pure that he’s happy with himself… Well, just look at his smile in the sunset scene! . Isn’t it dangerous!?”

Can I say that? It’s already not being explained. I don’t know about the dangerous scene, and I have no interest in watching it.

「The two of them are childhood friends, so they appear in each other’s routes. Since the types are reversed and there are many conflicts, there are often factional disputes in Kimisei’s clusters, such as whether it is blue or red cluster…」

I don’t really understand the meaning, but cluster is a term that Yuuka used in relation to SNS. If it’s something outside of the game, I seriously don’t understand it. [T/N: Cluster is basically “clique”]
Just when I thought it was time to stop, Elena suddenly stopped speaking, and a small sigh came from the other end of the bear-phone.

「Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t remember my previous life…」

「What do you mean?」

I tilt my head, wondering why she thought that. It’s all the more strange because just a moment ago, she seemed to be having fun and was fully in the fan state, but her voice suddenly became dejected.
When I asked her, she started complaining.

「Remias-kun and Bell-kun would just have to fight their rivals at school, but if things were going according to the game, Roy-nii-sama and Klaus-nii-sama would still be on bad terms, and Nico-san would only end up hating women with his sister remaining cursed. The hidden character must already have a painful past… and even if I know that, there’s nothing I can do about it.」

It’s painful, Elena says in a dejected voice. These are pieces of information that you don’t know unless you actually know the person, and Elena, who is an outsider at best, there’s the question of if it’s fine for Elena to intervene.

「…That’s why when he heard that Roy-nii-sama had lifted Nico-nee’s sister’s curse, he was surprised, but he thought it was a good thing.」

It wouldn’t be fun to spend your days knowing that someone is suffering. Even if you try to forget, you’ll remember it in a random moment.
Until I met Daniel-sama again, I could see his depressed and gloomy expression from time to time, and I felt a sense of despair. If we had just met for the first time, I think I would still be curious about what Daniel-sama was doing.

「Even if they’re not exactly the same. I don’t like it when people who are as good as the characters I fell in love with in Kimisei are left feeling as bad as they are until the game starts just because the heroine is going to save them.」

Therefore, it seems that Elena was happy that Leo took action on his own and reconciled with his brother, and that Nico’s sister’s curse was lifted. This is something she realized because she had memories of her previous life. However, on the other hand, if she hadn’t remembered it, her fears would have been unfounded.
Elena let out a sigh of sadness.

「The only thing I’m glad I remember is meeting Taichi.」

After the words that she must have spilled out, I heard a slight gasp from the other end of the phone, as if she realized that she had made a slip of the tongue. I, too, widened my eyes when I heard the surprising truth.
After a moment, it was Elena who seemed panicked who cut me off.

「Tch… t-that’s not true! I’m just glad that I can express my pent-up complaints directly!!」

「Ah. I’m glad I was able to apologize to Yuuka too」

We both had memories from our previous lives, so we realized it through small interactions.
I have always wanted to apologize to my family for dying without consulting her about my remaining life expectancy. It was the thing I had been craving the most in my memories of my previous life, and it was something I shouldn’t have been able to do. After all, the people in this world are Isaac and my family. There shouldn’t have been any family from Taichi’s previous life.
It’s a miracle for me that Elena, who has memories of our family and who I wanted to meet even if she blamed me, listened to my apology to Yuuka.
When I expressed my honest opinion, Elena seemed at a loss for words.

「Well, I’m sure Elena was with me even if she doesn’t remember.」

「Eh? Why?」

When I told her what I thought while listening to Elena’s story, a voice filled with doubt came back from the bear phone.

「You can hear thoughts, right?」

「Yep.」

「Is there something else you can do?」

「What else… ah. There’s the bird of the wind that Isaac flew. I can share vision with mine and do things like clairvoyance.」

I’ll never use it again, Elena added, seeming discouraged.
Elena, who has the dual attributes of wind and light, seems to be able to use light magic to share vision with the bird of the wind, which is used for communication purposes. Also, I can only grow it to the size of a sparrow, but Elena seems to only be able to shrink it to the size of an eagle no matter how hard she tries. Elena is reluctant because she thinks since it’s a bird of prey it’s no longer cute, but I think it’s cool so I’m a little jealous of her.
Clairvoyance is similar to the feeling of VR, and it seems like it’s fun to use as it feels like you’re flying in the sky. However, because her vision was focused on the bird, Elena, who was following her rhythm and flying the bird, didn’t realize that she was also moving her body, and she bumped her head on the walls of her room.
As a result, the princess was scolded by her maid Terese for the mark on her face, and her father, the king, found out that she had flown her bird close to the border, and so the royal family was suspected of spying. Apparently she was told not to do that. Elena told me that this double whammy was very painful.
I can understand that this is a cheat technique that she can do because she has a huge amount of magical power and valuable attributes, but all I could think of was that she was more disappointed than amazed.

「Ah… well, putting aside the fact that your actions created some misfortunes, if you had that kind of ability, you would have known about someone else’s troubles and worried about it. The memories you have of your past life might be different than the person in the game who shows up.」

「Does something like that…… possibly exist?」

Elena reflexively tried to deny it, but she changed her opinion halfway through, perhaps thinking of a scenario where she had no memories.
Even if she knows someone’s troubles from the voice in their heart, or sees someone far away in trouble with her clairvoyance, she probably won’t be able to help them directly. Elena’s rarity is high, as she is a member of the royal family and possesses rare dual attributes, so the restrictions on her movements are likely to be harsh. She must have been worried after all.

「Hm? So, just think of it as if you happened to see someone else’s diary.」

「Hmm… doesn’t that mean I’m useless anyway?」

「You’re wrong. You and I can’t help you in any way, even if it’s someone we know. Most of the time, the problem is what the person themselves will do in the end.」

Even if she extends a helping hand, it is meaningless unless the person with the problem grasps it for themselves. There are things in this world that we can’t do anything about due to circumstances, but sometimes things can be helped if we rely on someone.

「I told you before. It’s okay to just help out when you’re asked.」

I repeated what I had once said to Elena, who was only concerned about Leo and the others.
Even if Nico is in trouble or worried, I just hang out with him to relieve stress. Unless Nico feels like complaining, I won’t ask him. Even people she knows are like that, so it would be too difficult for Elena to help someone she has never met.

「What will I do if they don’t continue to rely on me?」

「Then just think of it as a good thing.」

When we met, even Ojou, when she had worries come to mind, would come to me and complain. But, that was because I was the only person close to her age at that time. After she became friends with Katherine-san and made friends, including the bunny-like girl, she hardly had anything to say to me. As long as she can talk to them, that’s fine. I’m glad that Ojou seemed to be having fun.
I don’t know how much she was convinced by my opinion, but after a moment of silence, she murmured, [I understand.] That evening, we ended up getting deep into conversation, so we called it quits.

---

The next morning, it was a holiday, and I had no particular plans, so I was thinking about what to do when I heard a knock at the front door. At my mother’s request, I opened the door to check on the visitor, and it was Maria.

「Ah, Zack was here!」

「What happened?」

Mary, whose cheeks were flushed from the winter air, removed the cloth that had covered the basket she was carrying and showed me what was inside.

「Look! I came up with the shape of lemon jam bread.」

There were three square pastries in the basket. The center is hollowed out, and the lemon jam shines with a bright yellow. The green mint on top of the jam brought out the color of the lemons. Judging from the fact that even the mint has a shine and its bright green color, it must have been pickled in honey.
It seems that Maria, who is helping her parents run a bakery, was tasked with shaping bread for the first time. I’m sure she would be happy to see the bread she designed listed as one of their products.

「It looks delicious. Maria must have good taste by making it so beautiful.」

「Right? It’s well received by our customers.」

Maria proudly hands over her lemon bread. I took it and handed it over to my mother. My mother boiled water and prepared tea, so they sat across from each other at the dining table, and the three of us chatted. It seems that Maria came to show me her new bread because I had the day off.

「Zack, do you need anything today?」

「No, I was just thinking about going to see the gardeners. Mom, should I buy something on the way home?」

「Let me see……」

「Can I go with you?」

While her mother was wondering if there was anything she needed, Maria asked to accompany me.
In winter, there are few flowers blooming in the garden, and the deciduous trees are lying idle. It’s not a very fun place to visit unless you are a gardener. So, when I asked him a question, I wanted him to tell me about herbs that can be used to make bread.
There are few cold-resistant herbs that can be used in the winter, so it would be difficult for Maria to find them on her own. Anyway, she’s just checking on the stock status at this time of year, so I agreed to accompany her.
After checking with my mother about the missing ingredients, I headed to the gardener with Maria. On the way, I asked Johann and his friends how they were doing, and they found out that Johann, son of the miller, had a bad relationship with the horses in the cart that carried the ground flour, and was training them to drive, and Paul, son of the blacksmith, was trying to adjust the temperature of the furnace. Apparently his father taught him this. She told me about the time when Maria saw Johann fighting with a horse, and it was funny to see Johann’s face being licked by the horse and feeling frustrated. It seems that Paul has become able to distinguish between iron and copper in their ore state. It seems that not only Maria but also the two of them are working hard to become apprentices to the family business.

「If they’re working so hard, I think I also should treat Paul to something to eat.」

「Also?」

Maria was confused by my words, so she repeated what caught her attention and tilted her head. I placed my hand on Maria’s head.

「It’s a treat for Maria today.」

There are rewards for growth. On days when I have more work to do, my mother always cooks something I like for dinner. So, if Maria and the others can visibly do more things, I’d like to treat them to food. Maybe it would be better if she told Johann first and enticed them with food.
When she heard that the lunch was a treat, Maria’s expression lit up.

「Zack, you’re generous.」

「Can we go to Ingrid’s Tavern?」

「It’s delicious there, isn’t it!? I wanted to go there.」

I laughed when I saw Maria’s steps become visibly lighter.
At the gardener shop, I admired a tree that looked like nothing but a dead tree to Mariya, and talked about fertilizers with the older gardener, but while I was giving advice to Maria about it, helped her choose herbs. Mariya bought a share of the easy-to-use rosemaries. It was a small potted plant, but since the flower shop is at the end of the market street and it’s a long way from Maria’s house, I carry it with me.
Ingrid’s Tavern was right on the way back to Maria’s house, so it was easy to stop by for lunch. Since it was cold outside, Maria ordered warm stew and potato gratin and was happily stuffed. I ordered grilled chicken and onion soup, which was also delicious. Perhaps because of the ginger in the soup, I felt warm inside even after I finished eating and left the restaurant.

「When will Zack go to church?」

「When it’s my birthday, I won’t forget.」

When I answered her question, Mariya nodded vaguely, as if thinking about it.
At my age, the purpose of going to church is limited. This is for the second magic power measurement. It is customary for commoners to take an aptitude test for magical attributes at the age of five at a nearby church and then to have their magical power measured at the age of thirteen or fourteen.
If it is confirmed that you have a certain amount of magical power, you will receive a notification from the country via the church at a later date, and you will be eligible to enter the Royal Academy of Magic. Most of them accept it as if it were a lottery ticket, as the funds required for admission come from the government and they can get a job in the royal capital after graduation.
Since this country is quite large, it is recommended that students take the test at least six months before entering school, and many commoners take the test at the age of thirteen. Partly because you would already be an apprentice at the family business, but the main reason for taking the exam early is to learn how to read and write. In the unlikely event that you qualify for admission, you will suddenly need to read and write, which you didn’t need before, so you will have to learn them at church. I’m fine with that, but I think it would be better to have a grace period for taking over the business.

「What if… what if, you know!? What will you do if you get accepted?」

「I want to study, so I’m going.」

I said the answer I had decided on beforehand. Since Yan didn’t pass this year, he will continue his apprenticeship as a gardener. I’ve already told my parents about my wishes, so I’ll talk to Yan about it if I get accepted.

「Then, if you pass… you’ll meet a lot of people your age.」

「Ah, that’s right.」

I always thought that the school was a place where there were a lot of aristocrats, but as Maria said, it was definitely a place where other people of the same age gathered. I was planning to go there to study magic, but maybe I’ll meet at least one person I can talk to. I didn’t think about the possibility of having a friend.
When I looked at Maria to thank her for increasing how I’d look forward to the exam, she had a strange expression on her face and was muttering something. Apparently, she didn’t say it to me earlier, but her thoughts just leaked out of his mouth.
She seems to be worried about what to do, so maybe Maria is also interested in the magic academy. If she wants to learn letters in advance, I’ll tell her the day Anika-sama will come to the Merkel church orphanage. Anika’s teaching style is easy to understand.
As I was walking alongside her, thinking about these things, Maria suddenly approached me with a grim look on her face.

「Is it because you’ll miss your chance to get married?」

「Ha?」

「Are you going to school because you want a girlfriend?!」

「Huh??」

I said at the beginning that it was for study purposes, so how did she make such a leap to come to such a conclusion? From Maria’s point of view, there aren’t any girls close to her age in the neighborhood, so I wonder if she was worried that I wouldn’t be able to find someone to marry unless I went to school.
Even if I could go to school, there are a lot of aristocrats in the first place, so the girls will concentrate on the ones with the wealth and looks, so there’s no way an ordinary guy like me could get a girlfriend. It’s an impossible game when the beautiful Nico is in the same grade. I’ll just be upstaged.
When I told Maria to calm down and think about it, I told her that she was acting unreasonably according to her specifications, and she finally seemed to calm down.

「Then Zack might miss his chance for marriage whether he passes or not.」

「Maybe.」

I didn’t care because even if I couldn’t get married, I could still be a gardener. If there is someone like Yan who can inherit skills rather than just blood, the Ernst family garden will be safe.
As long as I can grow a garden even when I become an old man, that’s fine. My parents aren’t the type to rush me into marriage, so I don’t feel any sense of crisis. Perhaps because I found something that I’m passionate about, I feel like I have less desire for love than before my previous life. At my age, girls started to change and I was confused. Is it okay to dismiss the transformation of a girl into a woman’s body as just secondary sexual characteristics? Guys don’t know how to treat her differently and can only feel confused.
I tried to dig up my memories from my previous life to see if I could become conscious of the opposite sex, but no matter what I tried, my consciousness remained in the garden. It seems like it’s still early for me when it comes to romance.
As Maria pointed out, I might actually miss the chance to get married, so I nodded.

「If Zack misses his chance to get married, should I marry you?」

「Ummm, that sort of thing…」

Even if it’s a joke, you shouldn’t say that so lightly to me. That’s what I was going to say.
When I looked next to me, I saw that her fists were shaking with too much force, and her eyes wide with determination were not looking at me, but at her feet. From that look, I realized that the redness on her face wasn’t due to the freezing air.
I realized that Maria wasn’t joking when I heard the contradictory reaction to the line that was said in a lighthearted tone.
I was surprised.
I felt different, and then I understood the meaning of the discrepancy in words and actions, and even though I understood, I couldn’t accept the current situation, and I froze, not knowing what to do. I never thought it would happen to me.
The only thing I know for sure is that I have to answer properly. Maria said it seriously. If I try to pass that off as just because she’s younger or because she’s a child, it’s definitely no good. That’s why I can’t think of any words.
Perhaps she couldn’t stand the fact that I didn’t respond, Maria suddenly raised her head and took the potted plant I was holding in her hands and held it.

「It’s only a little bit longer, so that’s enough. Thank you.」

「Ah.」

My reflexive reply got stuck in my throat. I don’t think I should say anything carelessly.

「See you later.」

With her forced smile, Mariya bids her farewell. Without waiting for my reply, Maria turned on her heels.

「Th… think about it……」

The words left behind before Maria took another step left me speechless again.
I watched in amazement as Maria disappeared into the door of the bakery.
I thought it would be happier, being confessed to. It was the first time a girl confessed to me. This is the first time including my previous life.

「I thought it was too early for me…」 [T/N: Literally just ‘I thought it was too early’, but the overall feeling I understood wasn’t that Maria’s confession was too early, so I cleaned it up.]

---

Nearly a month has passed since she first confessed and the new year has arrived.
I haven’t seen Maria since then. I don’t know if I’m being avoided, or if the timing of our holidays just doesn’t match up, I really don’t know. Maria’s bakery may have been busy because hard bread that lasts for a long time sells well during the New Year’s holidays, when people spend time at home with their families.

「Zack, have you caught a cold?」

「Eh……?」

As I was staring blankly at the brown surface of the tea, Ojou asked me this, looking worried.
Right now, I’m taking a break from working in the greenhouse, and I’m having tea with Ojou and her maid, Katherine-san. It’s cold, so I tried to ask my father if Yan could work in the greenhouse, but Yan himself wanted to work outside because he wanted to get used to the cold in the capital.
Ojou was suddenly worried about my health, and even though I was perfectly healthy, I tilted my head.

「Why?」

「Your voice is hoarse and it’s a little…」

「Oh, my voice has changed.」

「Your voice changed?」

When I explained that it was because of my voice, Ojou’s eyes widened as if she didn’t know.

「I’m still growing up. Don’t worry if I end up sounding like this a few times for a while.」

As long as I’m not sick, Ojou says as she tilts her head, but then nods at the fact that it’s hard for me to make a sound.

「Will your voice change more?」

Maybe she can’t imagine it because it’s a change that girls don’t have and she stares at my throat with curiosity. There is an Adam’s apple that has begun to emerge.

「Yeah. It’s going to be low.」

「Low…」

Ojou’s eyebrows furrowed, and I wondered what she was imagining. My voice will go down gradually in stages, so it won’t go down all of a sudden. I was a little curious as to how deep she thought my voice would be.

「Even if you’re not sick, your throat must be painful. Would you like some honey?」

Katherine-san, showing concern, held up a ceramic container containing honey. Since it’s okay, I say thank you and decline. For a moment, honey is slowly put on top of the lemon jam. It took me a while to decline.
Ojou didn’t miss it.

「Zack, are you not feeling well? Sometimes you seem dazed.」

Ojou angrily asked if I had a fever. If I had hidden the fact that I wasn’t feeling well, I’m sure I would have been scolded like this. However, as a perfectly healthy person, I shake my head.

「I was just thinking about something I’m not used to.」

「Are you worried about something?」

When I laughed softly, Ojou gave me a concerned look. No matter what is wrong with your body or mind, an Ojou who worries about me is kind.

「I’m not worried, so it’s okay. Besides, this is something I have to think about.」

That’s the answer. The question is how to convey that properly. She was also determined.
You can’t make decisions based on someone else’s opinion, so don’t rely on anyone. That’s why it’s better not to consult Ojou or Nico. I met Nico the other day, and Nico may have noticed, but he didn’t ask. I think I’m grateful for the presence of Nico and Ojou who care about something like this.

「Thank you for your concern.」

「Wha… I-it’s not like I was particularly worried about anything…!」

When I laugh and give my thanks, Ojou was surprised by something, and in her dismay she looked for an excuse, claiming that it was because she didn’t want to end up giving the cold to Katherine-san. It’s unreasonable to worry about whether she’s worried or not, but Ojou insists so hard that I nod.
I changed my mind and thought that if I was going to make her worry like this, I should be a little more proactive. I thought it would be okay to tell her when we met, but I’ll go and meet her myself.
After I made that decision, on my next day off, I had no plans so I was getting ready to go out to Maria’s bakery. Just as I was putting on my winter jacket, there was a knock on the front door.

「Zack, are you there?」

「Johann?」

Immediately after knocking, a voice came through the door and the visitor was identified. Wondering what it was for, I headed to the front door, and when I opened it, my eyes widened at the unexpected sight.
For some reason, Johan, who had a sour expression with many fresh wounds, and Maria, who seemed to have been grabbed at the wrist by Johann and taken away, were standing together, awkwardly averting her gaze from me.

「Did you two have a fight or something like that…?」

The two often fight, but even then, it’s only a verbal fight, and it’s rare for them to get physically involved. The only time we ever got into a fight was when we were little kids a few years ago. Moreover, no matter how you look at it, this time, Johann is the only one injured. Just what happened?

「My injury is nothing. Hmm.」

Without answering my question, Johan pushed Maria in front of me.

「Wait…!?」

「What’s up with all the energy you had earlier?」

「Even if you say that, there’s the problem if I’m mentally prepared!」

「You’re really troublesome.」

「What?!」

Unable to accept the situation, the two of them end up arguing in front of me. What should I do? I can’t mediate because I don’t know the circumstances.

「Zack, this girl is annoying, so take her with you. I’m going to drink Auntie Rie’s tea.」

「Eh?」

「Oh, but we have to treat your injuries first.」

Johann slowly walked past me and into the house. When my mother suggested treating his injury, he insisted that it would heal if he left it alone, but my mother warned him against it.
After following Johann with my eyes as he entered, I returned my gaze to the front door and found Maria looking down, motionless. Johann told me to take her, but where on earth should I take her?
In any case, the person I was planning to meet is now right in front of me.

「Maria, I’d like to talk to you. Is that okay?」

When I asked, Mariya jumped up in shock. After thinking about it for a few seconds, she nodded her head slightly.
I thought about going outside, but we didn’t have anyone to go to, so I decided to grab two cups of tea that my mother had made and talk in the courtyard of the house. I turned over the wooden box I used to transport the seedlings, spread a thick cloth over it, and used it as a chair for the both of us to sit down on. Johann and my mother are also having tea at the dining table, but even though they’re on the same first floor, they’re far enough away that their voices can’t be heard.
Maria uses the throw blanket that my mother gave her, and she places a mug on it and wraps it in her hands. By doing so, the heat of the hot tea would be transferred to her hand through the mug.
I took a sip, then two sips of the tea, and after feeling the heat warming my body, I started talking.

「I thought about it properly.」

Mary remained silent. However, my fingers tightened around her mug, so I decided that she was listening, so I continued.

「…I can’t make Maria my wife.」

I almost blurt out, “I’m sorry,” but I hold back. I felt that neither sorry nor thank you were appropriate to convey the answer.
After hearing my answer, Maria finally opened her mouth.

「Do you like someone else…?」

「No.」

「If that’s the case…! Isn’t it okay if you consider me as a candidate for your wife?」

「Maria.」

I stop Maria from making a desperate remark by calling her name. Having reservations like that would be rude to Maria, who was seriously thinking about me. I want her to take better care of herself.

「I was only thinking about Maria.」

Although she is three years younger than me, she is an amazing girl who is determined to choose her future.
She is a hard worker and steady. I don’t know when she started thinking about me, but maybe she’s precocious and maybe she was forcing herself to stand on her tiptoes to seem taller. The reason for her growing taller is probably the age difference between us. I’m not an adult, but I was born before Maria.
Mary was already a girl. When she confessed, I was made aware of it and it surprised me.
That’s why, I think.

「I want Maria to be happy.」

I wasn’t sure if she was able to put her reply into words properly, so she strained her hand to hold the mug in agony.

「But it’s with someone else. I think it’s with someone other than me.」

It’s a memory from my previous life, but I can kind of understand the difference between this and romantic feelings. The question is, can you imagine the future after your feelings are understood? Even if Maria can imagine a future with me, I can’t imagine my own future next to Maria.
If I had to say whether I liked her or not, I like Maria, but it’s definitely not a romantic feeling. Therefore, for Maria, it is the same as not liking it.
I don’t know how Maria will receive the answer I came up with from my perspective of looking at Mariya as a girl. She was sure that no matter what I said, it would hurt her, so she was prepared for it.
She listened to my answer. Mariya took a sip of the tea from her mug, and with a trembling voice she replied.

「…Zack, that’s cruel.」

「Yeah.」

「It’s unfair.」

「Yeah.」

Her frustrated expression was trying to hold back the tears, but she couldn’t hold back anymore, and Maria let the tears fall. I nod and accept the criticism that falls with those tears. Every time Maria spilled forward with accusations, she drank tea. It was like she was replenishing the moisture from her tears.
Up until now, I would have stroked her head and lent her my chest as much as she wanted until she stopped crying. But I can’t do that from now on.
Maria finishes her mug of tea, asks for another, wipes her tears with her sleeve, and stands up.

「Even if I become a good wife and you regret it later, I won’t care.」

Opening the door leading to the dining room, Maria walked inside without saying that.

「That’s right.」

I laugh in affirmation. A girl who can stand up for herself is definitely a good woman.
This year, it didn’t snow until February. Although it can’t be helped because it’s an area with low snowfall rates, it’s a bit disappointing.
The winter rain makes you feel cold to the core of your body. That’s why it felt colder this year than last year. It snows because the temperature drops, but why does it feel less cold when it snows? Is it because it’s more exciting?
I thought about this while cleaning the stone pavement at the front entrance. After it rains, it can be dangerous if it freezes, so I lay down dried straw to absorb the water, then sweep it with the broom. Spreading gravel will prevent slipping, but doing so will make the landscape look worse. Therefore, it is better to use dry straw.
I took turns with Yan to transport the swept straw on a trolley, and by the time we finished cleaning the cobblestone, it was already mid-afternoon. Yan will clean up the last of the straw that was loaded onto the trolley, so I head to work on the greenhouse.
From then on, whenever I met Maria, our interactions were awkward. Compared to the beginning, as whenever I could, I’d turn around and run away when my eyes met, things have probably gotten better recently, as I’ve become able to have a conversation with her. I won’t be able to do it the same way as before, but I’d be happy if someday we can get used to the new sense of distance and talk normally.
I guess I’m a terrible person, just like Maria said, leaving her rejected and feeling lonely if she hates me.
As I continued walking, watching my exhaled breath turn white and melt into the sky, I arrived in front of the greenhouse. I won’t be able to see it once I enter the greenhouse, so take a deep breath and exhale deeply.
The crisp air I breathe in is exhaled, carrying the heat from my lungs. As I watched the white disappear, I felt a sense of relief.

「Ah, I’m tired.」

I stretch my arms out and exhale. When I said it out loud, I realized that I was tired.
It wasn’t that Maria’s feelings were a burden. I was simply tired of the emergency situation of being confessed to. I thought about a lot of things I don’t usually think about.
The hardest part was removing all the excuses that people were trying to make, like saying she was like my younger sister, or that she was still a child, or about Johann. The answer is simple, but why is it so difficult to convey? After all, love is difficult for me.

「Thank you for your hard work.」

Words of gratitude came back to me as I spoke to myself.
When I turned around, my eyes met with pale blue eyes. Her pale, soft blonde hair swayed gently. Her hair was transparent in the light, and for a moment I thought it would just melt into the air like snow.
Ojou is smiling, expressing her emotions exactly as she said them. Ojou must have just said that because I was tired from working in the garden. However, since I hadn’t consulted anyone about this matter, those words resonated with me.
My expression naturally relaxes.

「Ojou.」

「Zack, your throat has healed.」

After she said that, I noticed that my voice was coming out smoothly. I’m not much of a talker, but it’s still nice to be able to speak without feeling like something is caught in my throat.

「I told you I wasn’t sick.」

I laugh at the sound of relief in her Ojour’s voice. It seemed like she was worried about how difficult it was for me to talk.

「Your voice is getting a little low…」

「Really?」

I don’t feel like I’ve changed from before. Ojou understands well. Maybe it’s because she has good ears?
Ojou seemed thoughtful as she placed her bent index finger on her chin. I wonder if she feels uncomfortable with my seemingly unusual voice.

「Is it weird?」

「It’s not weird… it’s rather…」

「Rather?」

When I asked her what Ojou had said, Ojou seemed to have come to her senses and her cheeks flushed red.

「N-nothing! Quickly enter now, the tea Katherine prepared will get cold.」

「Ah, what kind of sweets are you having today?」

I was more interested in the sweets that were served with tea because the topic had been cut off, so I continued while asking Ojou who entered the greenhouse first. Therefore, I immediately forget what Ojou had said.
Today’s tea offering was a baked confectionery called snowballs, to make up for the snow that didn’t fall. When I said that the snowball-shaped baked goods were just round cookies, I was scolded and Ojou lectured me about the different types of baked goods.
Since I can’t even tell the difference between different types of baked goods, the day when I can fall in love may never come.

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Damn, that chapter swerved hard after the talk with Elena. Honestly when translating it, I thought it was going to go in an entirely different direction.

Poor Maria, though. Held a torch for Zack since she was first mentioned. And Zack tempting fate with that last sentence lol. Honestly I kind of like how Zack didn’t mention it to Ojou, which lines up pretty well with Ojou’s complaints about Zack from previous chapters haha.

Other than that, not a whole lot else to say. See you all next time!

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